This is me...

subjects are fo' bithces.. ya huurd.

2005-05-20T01:11:04Z

havent updated in a while. so decided to.. as of last time which i dont know how long ago but; current updates. ashely and me our friends now and thats awesome, cus i adore her and think she is an amazing person and would hate not havig her friendship. been hanging out with kyle, dustin, lil' kyle, and caleb alot.. my boys fo' reals. made new friends; ren is awesome, jarid, and now hanging out with xavi alot more. just been stressed and busy because, i need a job. i think im gonna work at milgard fo' sure now. than i get a car. and than i get to do what i really wanna do finally. maybe things are going to start looking out my way. im excited.

show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me laugh

2005-05-15T18:29:45Z

♥.ren and me.we bring the party.♥

i lied when i said i was hard cus im softer than a thrift store sweater and twice as worn in

2005-02-11T08:39:17Z

<3 ...I know a girl.She puts the color inside of my world.But she's just like a maze. Where all of the walls all continually change, And I've done all I can. To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands. Now I'm starting to see, Maybe it's got nothing to do with me... <3

come fuck me up

2005-02-03T01:31:54Z

blankets and sheets were never enough for us to hide under... our bodies warm and broken.. oh how we love to try to hold our fragile bodies up against the wind.. if i ever had anything of my own, i would want it to be you.. oh, lets go back to the day when we use to chase our footsteps in the snow.. they say "its cold outside, you might need a coat" but we always replied "we were meant to be cold, in a world like this".. oh girl you know i would die for you.. you know i would die for you.. yeah, if only dreams were real. you know we were always meant to be.. always meant to be, broken and set apart... always needing someone else to put these pieces back together.. our footsteps were lost long ago...

i want to speak to the dead and ask them how is life?

2004-12-22T02:35:34Z

...let me be your favorite nightmare...

let me cut you a smile and you can bleed from ear to ear

2004-12-15T03:53:25Z

with gods grace smiling down on us we cant hide.. these line we have tried to walk for so long have worn crooked.. we tried to dance but forgot the radio is in the bath tub serenading our lovers.

this is life ore something like it

2004-12-10T06:01:34Z

i was born on the battle field... to live to die... these are the ends by which the means is justified

stale ciggarettes and cold coffee.. life never felt soo good

2004-12-08T09:02:51Z

i want someone to reach and grab my hand, and tell me im something worth there while...

i missed you last night

2004-10-16T02:14:04Z

... i wanted to say i miss you so much...
... but i knew it wouldnt be right...

and we scream louder than a pack of wolfes, howling at a full moon

2004-09-13T21:47:27Z

............................................................................. scream out my name. Impale me on your hips... im screaming out yours... our hearts race to see whose will beat faster... i can feel your nails stripping away at my back... and we'lll take eachothers breath away....I can hear you gasping for breath... These sheets our a canvas and we'll spill them with our bodies.... this is art... theres a man playing a love song to this... he is singing, "im still here, still waiting for that one person, to sweep me off my feet." We'll frame arr painting... then tear it down.... only to see how beautiful we truly are..................................................................................

if i told you this was killing me would you stop?

2004-09-08T18:23:24Z

your just killing what you cant take care of...

lying in a pool of blood

2004-08-21T04:03:26Z

let us die, let us die...

you wish to hear my voice, but its not calling your name

2004-08-20T21:32:43Z

i couldnt watch you destroy something beautiful any longer...

A poem to the dead

2004-05-09T08:10:36Z

Bury the dead. Scatter the ashes of their remains. Were making believers out of us tonight. We will set ourselves a fire, just to see how long we will burn. A gun... A knife... A empty bottle... A metaphor to our crime. Escaping the past. A canvas sits to frame our guilt. We find pleasure, in seeing who will surrvive. Thoughts collide. Scars left to be cut back open on our boken backs. We learned our lesson the first time, we turned our backs. Our statues, our still left to be destroyed. Can you mend a broken heart. This bullet is left for you.......

Eternity is forever

2004-05-01T09:47:18Z

To you... Tonight I retraced the stars, and spelled out your name. I can still hear your breathing pattern in my ear. Call out my name. I will call out your's. We will listen to the meloldy that judas sings. A song so beautiful, only should be sung to you. I found my voyage, and am shipping out tomorrow. In search I will find you. If you listen close enough you can still hear the beating of my heart. I am dead and you are alive. Wish me back from my grave. I will rise and rejoice. I will stand naked in the rain. Only the moonlight will set me afire. I hope you are warm now. Autumn's ashes rise. These leaves begin to fall from this old sickamore tree. I have walked as far as I can go. Concrete has never felt so good to lay upon. My ghost still haunt's these seasons past. In my heart these memories will last. I scream when I pray. Jesus, hear me plead. Please let my voice be heard. God, I don't want to die. But this dagger has never felt so good. I can feel the blood painting a portrait. I'll be sure to send it to you. A painting so beautiful, can't begin to relate to words. Each day gets harder, knowing you will be gone. I don't want you to leave... At least not like this. I cry. Knowing you are the one, that can make me believe. If only fate was real. Im sorry. Im sorry. This is it. This is everthing based on truth. And to say I regret it. Is another ghost, wandering the streets. Smile back to me my angel. I will never forget how beautiful your angel wings were. Take me to heaven. (our shipwreck will set sail)

Last night I watched the angels chase stars...

2004-04-28T21:06:42Z

Well, my last entry went well.... HAHA. But thats okay I was expecting that to happen. But hopefully there is no hard feelings because thats not what I wanted, I was just writing the way I feel. But thats okay, its always nice to have a critic! So last weekend was cool. I met up with an old friend. It was fun, it was good seeing her. Over the last three years I have seen her, she keeps getting more and more beautiful. Since saturday, I have seen her a couple of times. She is an amazing girl, with a pretty smile. YEAAA! This week is almost over! Can't wait till friday. Party at Will's!

Take the blood from my veins, and paint me a masterpiece...

2004-04-27T02:12:58Z

I remember the spring night. I could feel your heart race each time, I squeezed your hand. I can still feel your lips pressed up against mine... and can hear you whispering softly in my ear "i will always remember this." You led me on. Left me for dead... letting the concrete, map out my blood stains. I can hear myself screaming as the wolf's tear at my open back. I can hear you still laughing. I wish we could go back to the way things were. Yesterday I called in attempt to tell you I still care. I still do. I meant nothing to you. I was just another piece to add to your puzzle.(You will never find your last piece) I listened to the lies you told me... but I lied to myself believing them. Maturity is a word yet to be learned in your vocabulary. You told me boys don't know what they want. Im telling you I knew what I wanted. I wanted you. Were tracing fiction. I will always remember how beautiful your name sounded with one "L"

I want to be decieved

2004-04-23T03:45:15Z

...YOU HOLD THE GUN IN THIS ONE...

Im trying hard to forget that day when love challenged freedom to a fist fight

2004-04-23T01:44:34Z

I apologize. I have once again lost myself in the bottom of a bottle. I now remeber how much it hurts the day the tap runs dry. I remember portraits and poloroids framed only to remind me of my destruction. I started a trend. But this time Im taking a a different turn at the end of this bend. I wont wake up to find my reflection in a pool of blood. I can hear the angel below scream in my ear, " You have lost" . But maybe she is right. This knife has had enough, it has been in my back for too long. Im vomiting the alchol, my blood, my hate. I can hear the harps now, singing me back to consiousness. Im not this. Fogive me father for I have sinned. I only now begin to rip my heart out to give to you. Im trying my hardest to come to you. But my secondhand wings have given out. I'll never forget the time, I chose life. The end begins.

Because im softer than a thrift store sweater and twice as worn in

2004-04-23T01:12:57Z

Maybe someday you will stumble upon this. You will hear my voice in your mind and bury youself in your hands knowing that you have broken me. But don't worry because for every tear that hits the ground another angel will be there for your fall...

seperate the sparkles from the stars and put them both on trial

2004-04-22T03:12:18Z

......can you lead me on???

I tried so hard to be her day

2004-04-20T03:42:17Z

I wait for her in my dreams. Maybe there she will answer my prayers...